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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929803">I Loved You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAndromedaFangirl/pseuds/TheAndromedaFangirl'>TheAndromedaFangirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Anakin &amp; Obi-Wan Have A Strong Friendship, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Force Bond (Star Wars), Friendship, Gen, Not A Fix-It, Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Bad At Feelings, Obi-Wan Kenobi Loves Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi-centric, Obi-Wan centric, Sad Ending, but i meant it as platonic, can be read as platonic or romantic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:13:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAndromedaFangirl/pseuds/TheAndromedaFangirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times Obi-Wan Kenobi almost told Anakin Skywalker that he loved him and the one time he finally did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pref-1">"How long?" Anakin asked Healer Jedao.</p><p class="pref-3">"Three weeks, Skywalker. This is a delicate process, and with your right hand being your dominant one, it will take you slightly longer to get used to it."</p><p class="pref-4">"Ugh," Anakin sighed and slumped back against the bed. "I don't want to wait that long." </p><p class="pref-5">"Be patient, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "You are lucky Dooku did not do more harm to you. You should be relieved this is all that there is."<em> I am.</em> Obi-Wan had added as an afterthought, Anakin was reckless and impulsive and he constantly caused Obi-Wan to fret for his safety. </p><p class="pref-6">"I will try, master." </p><p class="pref-7">Anakin did not do very well with the whole being patient thing, as the day after his new arm was fitted he snuck out of the Temple med bay and accompanied Obi-Wan to the outer rim, all without Obi-Wan's knowledge. </p><p> </p><hr/><p class="pref-8"> </p><p class="pref-8">Obi-Wan was greeted by Commander Cody of the 212th Battalion, which Obi-Wan had just been given command over. "General Kenobi," Cody saluted. </p><p class="pref-9">"At ease, Commander. Tell me, what's our intel on the situation?"</p><p class="pref-10">"It seems there's a Separatist fleet preparing for an invasion. We're not sure who is commanding it yet."</p><p class="pref-11">"Apart from the 212th, what battalions do we have available?"</p><p class="pref-12">"Only the 501st legion, sir."</p><p class="pref-13">"It'll have to do."</p><p class="pref-14">"What's our plan?"</p><p class="pref-15">"The 212th remain planetside and prepare for the inevitable ground invasion. Meanwhile, we split the 501st, half will take the fight aerial. Attempt to take as many Separatist droids out before they reach the surface. And the other half will remain here and attempt to evacuate as many civilians as possible to safe zones."</p><p class="pref-16">"I'll go inform the troops, sir." Cody saluted and ran off. </p><p class="pref-17">A short while later he came back with some news. "General! We have a situation."</p><p class="pref-18">"What is it?"</p><p class="pref-19">"It seems that-" his explanation was cut off as someone shouted from behind him.</p><p class="pref-20">"He means me!" Anakin called as he came running down the ramp of the ship and towards Obi-Wan and Cody.</p><p class="pref-21">"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called a mix of surprise and frustration in his voice. </p><p class="pref-22">"Okay, before you lecture me I know what you're going to say-"</p><p class="pref-23">"What are you doing here? You're-"</p><p class="pref-24">"Supposed to be on leave, I know, but I can't just sit around when there are people in danger. And besides, the new arm works perfectly." He flexed his arm and curled his fingers to demonstrate his point. </p><p class="pref-25">"No," Obi-Wan said sternly. </p><p class="pref-26">"No to what?" Anakin's face fell and Obi-Wan felt a twinge of guilt. </p><p class="pref-27">"You are not getting into the battle."</p><p class="pref-28">"What? I'm your best pilot, I can help."</p><p class="pref-29">"No, Anakin, you haven't had a chance to test anything since your arm replacement and I'm not going to risk your life or the life of the men on that."</p><p class="pref-30">"But-"</p><p class="pref-31">"No." Obi-Wan stepped closer to Anakin. "Please, just this once, listen to me."</p><p class="pref-32">Anakin studied Obi-Wan's face for a moment and then relented. "Fine," he sighed and pouted, though he would deny ever doing so. "At least let me do something, though."</p><p class="pref-33">Obi-Wan sighed but relented. "You can help with the civilian evacuation." He turned to look at Cody. "Commander, does the 501st have a general yet?"</p><p class="pref-34">"Not yet, sir."</p><p class="pref-35">"Then would you please inform Captain Rex that Anakin is being instated as temporary Commander and take Anakin to him and inform him of the situation."</p><p class="pref-36">"Yes, sir." Cody saluted. "This way, Commander," he said to Anakin and Anakin followed him off. </p><p class="pref-37">Obi-Wan had been satisfied with having Anakin out of harm's way until the evacuation went wrong. There had apparently been an ambush by a droid battalion, Obi-Wan didn't know how a battalion of droids had managed to sneak its way planetside but he didn't have time to ponder on that.</p><p class="pref-38">"Captain, what's going on?" Obi-Wan asked he couldn't make sense of all the comm chatter.</p><p class="pref-39"><em>"It seems the Separatists knew we would evacuate the civilians and already had doids placed at the evacuation point," </em>Rex replied the comm crackling with sounds of blaster fire in the background. Then there was some yelling and the comm cut out. </p><p class="pref-40">"Captian," Obi-Wan called. No answer. "Anakin," he tried. Again, no answer. "What's happened?" He asked Cody.</p><p class="pref-41">"It seems communications are being scrambled, sir."</p><p class="pref-42">"Kriff," Obi-Wan cursed. "Alright, I need to get to that site. Commander, I want you to stay here and direct the battle."</p><p class="pref-43">"Yes, sir." Cody saluted.</p><p class="pref-44">Five minutes later Obi-Wan had a speeder bike and was on his way to the evacuation site. When he arrived, he did not find what he had expected. He had been expecting a battle, he had not been expecting quiet and smoking dead battle droids. </p><p class="pref-45">Captian Rex saw him arrived and ran over to him. "General," he saluted.</p><p class="pref-46">"What happened?" Obi-Wan asked motioning for Rex to be at ease. </p><p class="pref-47">"Commander Skywalker happened, sir." Rex smiled. "He saved everyone. Not one civilian casualty. Some soldiers wounded but none dead." Then Rex turned to look over at Anakin, who was comforting two small children. </p><p class="pref-48">Obi-Wan watched fondly. Anakin was hunkered down so he was eye level with them, his eyes were bright and even though Obi-Wan couldn't hear him, he knew Anakin was speaking softly. Anakin smiled brightly then, poking each child's nose playfully, the two children giggled then and Anakin gave each of them a hug and ruffled their hair. </p><p class="pref-49">Obi-Wan felt something rise in him then, something he felt towards Anakin that he had been ignoring and pushing down for a while. </p><p class="pref-50">Anakin's eyes flicked up to Rex and spotted Obi-Wan too. Anakin rose from his hunkered position and excused himself from the children. He started making his way over but stooped to give another older child a high five. </p><p class="pref-51">"To what do I owe the pleasure, Master? Or should I call you General?" Anakin smirked. </p><p class="pref-52">"Well, I came to help with the droids, but it seems you have everything taken care of. Captain Rex tells me you saved everyone."</p><p class="pref-53">"Well, not on my own. These fine men were instrumental too. And Captain Rex and I, we work well together."</p><p class="pref-54">"I'm glad to hear that. But if everything is sorted here, I will make my way back to the main forces." Obi-Wan dismissed himself and settled back onto the speeder bike. </p><p class="pref-55">Anakin and Rex stood side by side and together said, "good luck."</p><p class="pref-56">Obi-Wan looked back at Anakin. "Are you not getting on?" </p><p class="pref-57">"What?" A look of confusion and surprise crossed Anakin's face. </p><p class="pref-58">"Well, I need my best pilot, don't I?" He smiled when Anakin's face lit up. </p><p class="pref-59">"You're serious? You're letting be fly?" </p><p class="pref-60">"Yes, now hurry up, or we won't make it back in time to get you in the fleet." Obi-Wan chuckled.</p><p class="pref-61">Anakin turned to Rex and shook his hand. "It's been a pleasure working with you, Captian."</p><p class="pref-62">"Likewise, Commander," Rex replied and then Anakin jumped on the back of the speeder and he and Obi-Wan raced back towards the main fight. </p><p> </p><hr/><p class="pref-64"> </p><p class="pref-64">Their battle had been a success and soon after the 212th along with 501st made way for Coruscant. Once they arrived, Obi-Wan went to give his report to the Jedi Council while Anakin was told off by Healer Jedao and then promptly given a checkup. </p><p class="pref-65">After his report, Obi-Wan found Anakin down in the barracks with the 212th and 501st celebrating jovially. </p><p class="pref-66">"I see you managed to get away from the Healers?" Obi-Wan noted when he came to stand by Anakin.</p><p class="pref-67">"Yes, after I promised multiple times to take it easy, but she was impressed by how quickly I've adapted to the prosthetic."</p><p class="pref-68">"The council is impressed by your actions too." That caused Anakin to stop. </p><p class="pref-69">"They are?"</p><p class="pref-70">"Yes, in fact, they're so impressed by your work with the 501st today that they're promoting you to general and giving you command of the legion." </p><p class="pref-71">Around them, the 501st began to cheer loudly. "Give it up for our new general!" One clone cheered. </p><p class="pref-72">"It will be an honour to serve you, General Skywalker." Rex saluted and promptly joined the rest of his men. </p><p class="pref-73">"But if they're making me a general, that means..." Anakin looked over at Obi-Wan for confirmation on what he was thinking. </p><p class="pref-74">"That they are making you a Knight? Yes, they are."</p><p class="pref-75">"Without the trials?"</p><p class="pref-76">"They feel that what you've accomplished is equivalent to the trials."</p><p class="pref-77">"I'm a Knight? I'm a proper Jedi?" Anakin beamed, joy radiating off him in the Force. </p><p class="pref-78">"Yes, you are." Obi-Wan smiled, seeing Anakin so happy made his heart soar and that was the moment he realised he loved Anakin. It was the moment everything changed. "There is one thing left though." Obi-Wan motioned to Anakin's padawan braid. It was the last step, but it also functioned as a distraction from his epiphany. </p><p class="pref-79">Anakin took a step away from Obi-Wan and sunk to one knee, he bowed his head. Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber, moving it from one shoulder to the other as he said, "Anakin Skywalker, by the right of the council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee Jedi Knight of the Republic." Then he severed the padawan braid. And when Anakin rose from his knees tears twinkling in his eyes, he was a Jedi Knight.</p><p class="pref-80">Obi-Wan was so proud of him and he felt so much love for Anakin at that moment that he almost said it. Instead, he pulled Anakin into a hug, hoping it would suffice. When he broke away he smiled brightly at Anakin and then took Anakin's padawan braid and placed in it the pocket of his robe.</p><p class="pref-81">And if years later that same padawan braid was tucked away in a box along with a certain lightsaber. Well, that wasn't anyone else's business. </p><p class="pref-82"> </p><p class="pref-83"> </p><p class="pref-84"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, that was part one, and it was a good bit longer than I originally anticipated but overall I'm happy with it, and I hope you all like it too.</p><p>Thanks for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka had gotten themselves into quite a predicament, trapped on this strange planet. Anakin had been separated from him a while ago, and Obi-Wan was worried about his former apprentice. This whole place was strange and it put him on edge. </p><p class="pref-2">Obi-Wan felt a pull in the Force and quickly looked over to his left, but he only found Ahsoka laying asleep. He turned to look to his right and that was when he heard it, a voice that he hadn't heard, apart from in his dreams, in over ten years.</p><p class="pref-3">"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. "Have you done as I asked? Have you trained the boy?"</p><p class="pref-4">Obi-Wan spun in the direction of the voice, and his gaze settled on the image of his old master. Though he appeared semi-transparent and had a strange blue-like glow to him. </p><p class="pref-5">"Master Qui-Gon? How are you here?" Obi-Wan asked igniting his lightsaber and jumping into a defensive stance. </p><p class="pref-6">"I am here because you are here," Qui-Gon replied.</p><p class="pref-6"><em>Well, that wasn't helpful in the slightest.</em> Obi-Wan thought. "I don't understand. What is this place?"</p><p class="pref-8">"Unlike any other. A conduit through which the entire Force of the universe flows."</p><p class="pref-9">That explained why this place was so strong with the Force. "Are we in danger?"</p><p class="pref-10">"This planet is both an amplifier and a magnet, three are here who seek Skywalker. They, like me, believe him to be the Chosen One."</p><p class="pref-11">Obi-Wan relaxed somewhat and put away his lightsaber. "You were right. The Force within him is stronger than any known Jedi. I've trained him as well as I could, but he's still willful and balance eludes him."</p><p class="pref-12">"If he is the Chosen One he will discover it here."</p><p class="pref-13">"And if not?"</p><p class="pref-14">"Then you must realise with his power this is a very dangerous place for him to be."</p><p class="pref-15">Obi-Wan sighed, he had been hoping Qui-Gon would disprove his fears. "How can I help him?"</p><p class="pref-16">"Anakin's biggest strength is his heart, but it is also his greatest weakness."</p><p class="pref-17">"How can something be a weakness and a strength?"</p><p class="pref-18">"He loves so fiercely and with all his heart that it could be used against him. Because of his late introduction to the Jedi way, he had already learned what love was, and that is not something he can unlearn. But, we must realise that love is not wrong, even for a Jedi." Qui-Gon turned to look at Obi-Wan. </p><p class="pref-19">"You're not talking about Anakin anymore are you?" Obi-Wan sighed. </p><p class="pref-20">"No, I am not." Qui-Gon smiled warmly. "You must realise, Obi-Wan, that the love you feel for him is not wrong, even if the Jedi Code says it is."</p><p class="pref-21">"I accepted it some time ago that I loved him." </p><p class="pref-22">"You have accepted it but you have not embraced it."</p><p class="pref-23">"I am not a perfect Jedi, nor will I ever be, but I can try my best."</p><p class="pref-24">"But don't you see Obi-Wan, there is no such thing as a perfect Jedi. But you must remember, Anakin's biggest strength is his heart, but it is also yours." And with that Qui-Gon disappeared. </p><p class="pref-24"> </p><hr/><p class="pref-26"> </p><p class="pref-26">"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called struggling against the tight grip The Daughter had him in. "This planet is the Force! Use it!" He watched as Anakin centred himself in the Force.</p><p class="pref-27">"You will let them go!" Anakin growled, gathering the Force within himself and then sending it out in a pulse, pushing The Son and The Daughter back and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka with them. Anakin tightened his grip with the Force around the two ethereal beings, raising them into the air and expanding the pressure on them.</p><p class="pref-28">Obi-Wan attempted to wriggle loose from The Daughter's talons, but her grip on him only tightened further. The ground around them darkened and lights shone up through it like stars. The planet around them began to shift and change then, moving from day to night. As Anakin commanded his control over both aspects of the Force. Obi-Wan watched equal parts in amazement and terror at the sheer power Anakin possessed. </p><p class="pref-29">Anakin commanded his control over The Son and Daughter then, releasing Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. Anakin pulled the two beings towards each other then slammed them back against the sanctuary walls. The two creatures flopped against the ground and as they recovered pushed themselves up into the air and flew closer to their prey. </p><p class="pref-30">Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber readying to defend himself against The Daughter, only for Anakin to seize control of the creature with the Force. </p><p class="pref-31">"ON YOUR KNEES!" Anakin's voice thundered with terrifying impact. The two creatures struggled against his grip but their attempts were futile, Anakin's control over them was so strong that it forced them back into their original forms, kneeling before him.</p><p class="pref-32">"And now you see who you truly are." The Father's voice sounded from behind Anakin as he approached. Anakin panted heavily as he released The Son and Daughter. "Only the Chosen One could tame both my children."</p><p class="pref-33">"I have taken your test. Now, fulfil your promise and let us go."</p><p class="pref-34">"Ah, but first, you must understand the truth. Now, all of you leave us." He looked around and everyone else.</p><p class="pref-35">"Do not trust him," Ahsoka warned.</p><p class="pref-36">"You think?" Anakin replied sarcastically.</p><p class="pref-37">"I said leave us." </p><p class="pref-38">Ahsoka turned to leave, Obi-Wan looked Anakin up and down, hesitating, then he turned to leave with Ahsoka.</p><p class="pref-39">Anakin seemed rattled when he returned to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. And when they got back into the ship, Obi-Wan made him lie down. "You should rest," he said as Ahsoka entered the cockpit and started up the engines. </p><p class="pref-40">"Are you alright?" Obi-Wan asked, concerned when Anakin didn't reply.</p><p class="pref-41">"I'm worried, what he said, what if he's right? What if my selfishness will doom the galaxy?"</p><p class="pref-42">"Anakin," Obi-Wan said softly as he laid a protective hand on Anakin's shoulder. "You're heart is the biggest of anyone's I know."</p><p class="pref-43">"Really?" </p><p class="pref-44">"Yes, and that is why you must protect it fiercely." Memories flashed in Obi-Wan's mind, Anakin's anger and recklessness; his horror at whatever the Son had shown him had been enough to temporarily turn him; the magnitude of his power. If Anakin didn't protect his heart, he could tear apart the galaxy.</p><p class="pref-45">"I will." Anakin smiled. </p><p class="pref-46">"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, a gentle hand coming to touch the back of Anakin's head. </p><p class="pref-47">"Yes?" Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan. His eyes searching Obi-Wan's.</p><p class="pref-48">Obi-Wan almost said it then, told Anakin that he loved him. Almost laid his heart bare, as Anakin did. Instead, he said, "get some rest, please." He smiled. And Anakin nodded and laid down closing his eyes.</p><p class="pref-49">Obi-Wan moved for the cockpit, pausing just once at the threshold to look back at Anakin. Obi-Wan sure as Sith hell hoped that The Father was wrong, he didn't think his heart could take it if he lost Anakin.</p><p class="pref-50"> </p><p class="pref-51"> </p><p class="pref-52"> </p><p class="pref-53"> </p><p class="pref-54"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pref-1">The war had been slowly wearing down everyone's spirits the longer it dragged on. The civilians had lost any morale they might have had quite a while back. The Grand Army of the Republic was constantly losing good honest men, even if they were clones and bred for the purpose of fighting a war, they were still lives lost and should not be taken lightly. And the Jedi had lost sight of what they were supposed to be for the galaxy. No longer were they beacons of peace, hope, and justice, now they were soldiers fighting a war on the whishes of the Senate.</p><p class="pref-4">Obi-Wan felt it every day, the constant dread for the next battle, the massacre. He watched his men die, he mourned and attempted to move on as most other Jedi did. But Obi-Wan watched every day as the war weighed down on Anakin more and more. Slowly crushing away the joyful boy he had once been into a weary, trauma-ridden young man, with the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. And Obi-Wan supposed Anakin did, as the Chosen One, he was expected to be the one who would end the war and bring balance to the Force and peace to the galaxy with it. All those expectations would definitely take its toll on someone so young. </p><p class="pref-5">Obi-Wan would forget sometimes just how young Anakin actually was, only twenty-two. At that age, Obi-Wan had still been a padawan, and he had not known the horror of war, nor the cruelty of the galaxy. And here Anakin was, he'd been a general for coming up on three years, fought in countless battles, he'd seen thousands upon thousands die, he'd seen the effects of the war, and he'd witnessed the cruelty of the galaxy first hand. </p><p class="pref-6">And then Umbara. The traitor General Krell had orchestrated the death of so many clones and in such cruel ways. Anakin had always taken the deaths of his men hard. Each one chipping away at his heart. And when he learned that in his absence, his men had been tricked into killing their brothers, it hit him harder than ever.</p><p class="pref-7">Obi-Wan had been with Anakin when the fleet returned to Coruscant, Anakin greeted his men, there had been pain and remorse in his voice as he spoke to them then, informing them of the leave the Jedi Council had granted them, and of his deepest condolences for what they had been put through in his absence. Everyone could see how this affected Anakin so deeply, but he held himself together.</p><p class="pref-8">"I am so sorry," Anakin said. "For what you all had to endure. You are dismissed." His men had saluted him and filed out, and Anakin, along with Obi-Wan had made his way to his quarters. And as soon as the door had closed behind them Anakin's resolve crumbled. </p><p class="pref-9">A strangled cry rattled through him and he collapsed to his knees on the floor, shaking as he let out all his anguish. Obi-Wan sank to his knees in front of him and put his arms around him, pulling him close. Obi-Wan had held him for what could have been hours, Anakin's tears dampening his robe as Anakin was able to do nothing but sob. </p><p class="pref-10">"Why?" Anakin had managed to choke out between sobs after a long time. "Why is the galaxy so cruel?" </p><p class="pref-11">Obi-Wan had pulled back only slightly then. Enough so that he could hold Anakin's face and look him in the eye. "I don't know," he said, tears of his own shining in his eyes. </p><p class="pref-12">"It hurts so much." </p><p class="pref-13">"I know," he said framing Anakin's face with his hands. "And it will hurt for some time, and the galaxy is a cruel cruel place. But, Anakin, you are the strongest, bravest, most loyal person I know. You have the biggest heart and the kindest soul. And that is why everything will hurt so much." Anakin's big blue eyes stared back at them, still overflowing with tears. "And I don't know how I can help you, Anakin, but I am here, and I always will be."</p><p class="pref-14">"I-" he almost said it then, it would be so easy. All he had to do was say it. He loved Anakin so much, and it hurt so much to see Anakin in so much pain. But now was not the right time, not when Anakin was hurting this badly. He needed to be there for Anakin and not make this about himself. "I am here, Anakin. I always will be," he repeated instead. </p><p class="pref-15">Anakin collapsed into sobs again then. Obi-Wan guided him towards his bed, sitting them both down and holding Anakin tightly. Held him like if he let go Anakin would shatter. And maybe he would have, but Obi-Wan didn't let go. Not for a long long time, not until after Anakin had fallen asleep in his arms, and he had fallen asleep too. Not until after Obi-Wan had woke, the sun shining in through the blinds that had not been closed the night before. </p><p class="pref-16">Anakin was still asleep tucked into his side, his head rested on Obi-Wan's shoulder. And he was holding on to Obi-Wan as if his life depended on it. One arm was tucked under Anakin's body and he'd lost all feeling in it. But Obi-Wan would rather cut it off than wake Anakin right now, in the only moments of peace he was going to get. </p><p class="pref-17">He never wanted Anakin to wake up, never wanted him to return to the cruelty and pain of life. He wanted him to be free of all the pain he had ever felt. To be free of the guilt, the expectations, all of it. But Obi-Wan could not free him from those, he could, however, let him sleep a while longer. </p><p class="pref-18">With his free hand, Obi-Wan stroked Anakin's hair out of his face, gently tucking it behind his ears, then he pressed a light kiss to Anakin's forehead. Maybe Anakin would never hear just how much Obi-Wan loved him if Obi-Wan could not bring himself to say so. But maybe Obi-Wan could show him instead. He could be there for Anakin and he could believe in him.</p><p class="pref-19">And even when sometime later Anakin did not believe it, Obi-Wan never stopped being there for him, never stopped believing in him, and never stopped loving him.</p><p class="pref-20"> </p><p class="pref-21"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, I'm just going to ignore that part of ROTJ where Obi-Wan says there's nothing left of Anakin. (I'm paraphrasing)<br/>That was a heavy one, why do my boys have to go through so much pain? Why do I put them through so much pain? No one knows.</p><p>Anyway, thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan finally located Anakin in his quarters at the Jedi Temple, the last place he had thought to look. When he entered the room he found Anakin at his makeshift workbench tinkering with a droid. Which Anakin routinely did when he was upset or trying work through something. </p><p class="pref-4">"I've been looking for you," Obi-Wan said coming to a stop at the edge of the workbench. </p><p class="pref-5">"Something wrong?" Anakin asked not looking up from the droid.</p><p class="pref-6">"You tell me?" He was worried about Anakin, which wasn't a new development, but he was worried about Anakin in a different way. He had always been worried about Anakin's safety and for Anakin's heart, now he was worried for his soul. There was a storm inside Anakin's soul trying its darndest to break free. Obi-Wan didn't want to know what would happen if it did.</p><p class="pref-7">"Not that I'm aware."</p><p class="pref-8">"Master Yoda feels that your judgements concerning Rush Clovis are clouded." The wave of anger Obi-Wan felt from Anakin was immense. Rage and jealousy and fear all rolled into one. </p><p class="pref-9">"I believe he can't be trusted," Anakin said, at last looking at Obi-Wan. </p><p class="pref-10">Anakin was a very good liar, to most people at least. The bond he and Obi-Wan shared was deep and strong and could rarely be fooled. The two of them still pretended they could lie to each other though. Anakin pretended that he didn't know Obi-Wan was aware of his relationship with Padmé and Obi-Wan pretended that he wasn't aware of it. It worked for them the majority of the time. </p><p class="pref-11">"Yes, but there is more isn't there? I sense a deep anger in you by my simply saying his name."</p><p class="pref-12">"He almost got Senator Amidala killed and I would have been responsible." Anakin slammed down the tool he was holding on the bench, then turned away from Obi-Wan and crossed to the other side of the room. </p><p class="pref-13">"The Senator has risked her life many times, she's quite capable of taking care of herself." Obi-Wan turned to look at Anakin who was now fiddling with a model starfighter.</p><p class="pref-14">"They had a relationship," Anakin said quickly and defensively, then after a beat sheepishly added, "once." Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow and Anakin almost squirmed under his questioning gaze. "I simply feel she is vulnerable to her emotions."</p><p class="pref-15">"She is or you?" It was quite a silly question to ask, Anakin had always been vulnerable to his emotions, ever since the day Obi-Wan met him.</p><p class="pref-16">"What are you implying?" Anakin asked and Obi-Wan could sense the irritation radiating off of him through the Force. </p><p class="pref-16">"Anakin, I understand to a degree what is going on." Obi-Wan sighed and sat down on Anakin's bed, facing away from him so Anakin wouldn't see just how much he understood. "You've met Satine, you know I once harboured feelings for her. It's not that we're not allowed to have these feelings it's natural."</p><p class="pref-16">Obi-Wan had never lied to Anakin willingly and he would not start now. Anakin knew he had once loved Satine, but what Obi-Wan left out was how he loved Anakin too. Obi-Wan was about to confess then, to Anakin, that he loved him. That despite his best efforts to ignore it and his preaching of the Jedi Code, Obi-Wan loved Anakin. And that with each passing day he was learning that that love was not a bad or wrong thing. </p><p class="pref-18">"Senator Amidala and I are simply friends," Anakin said interrupting Obi-Wan's train of thought.</p><p class="pref-19">If Anakin was going to keep up the charade of being a devoted Jedi, then Obi-Wan would too. "And friends you must remain," he said. "As a Jedi, it is essential you make the right choice, Anakin. For the Order."</p><p class="pref-20">"I understand my responsibilities." Anakin sighed and stood up to pace. He was still radiating anger and irritation in the Force but Obi-Wan could sense some regret and weariness also. </p><p class="pref-21">"Responsibilities that must be observed whatever relationship develops between Clovis and Senator Amidala."</p><p class="pref-22">"They have no relationship. It is simply business between them," Anakin said matter of factly. </p><p class="pref-23">"Then we should have no problems. Should we?" Obi-Wan stood up then and moved to leave the room, but before he did he felt a strong wave of both want and regret come from Anakin. He couldn't look back at Anakin, couldn't let Anakin see the hurt in his eyes, he could shield it somewhat in the Force but he couldn't shield his eyes. He, like Anakin, always showed far too much with his eyes. </p><p class="pref-23">As the door closed behind Obi-Wan he heard Anakin grunt in frustration and slam something down. Obi-Wan wished he could be strong enough, wished he was brave enough to tell Anakin how he felt, but every chance that he had, he could never bring himself to say to words. Surely Anakin could sense it through their bond though. Surely Anakin knew.</p><p class="pref-23">And when everything he ever loved or believed in came crashing down he never thought he could forgive himself for his restraint, or cowardice in his eyes, because he was the one who knew Anakin the best. He ought to have known that Anakin needed to be told he was loved. Ought to have known that Anakin needed things to be spoken aloud for them to be real or meaningful in any way. </p><p class="pref-24"> </p><p class="pref-25"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan was worried about Anakin, had been worried about him for quite some time. He could sense through their bond that Anakin was growing more and more frustrated with the Jedi Council, and he was growing more and more distrustful of them. Obi-Wan knew he probably should have stepped in and talked to Anakin about it, but in all honesty, he couldn't blame Anakin. Ever since Anakin had arrived at the temple at nine years old, the Council had given him little reason to trust them. </p><p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan himself was guilty in contributing to some of that mistrust. For his undercover mission as Rako Hardeen, the Council had faked his death, and kept that knowledge from Anakin, using his reaction to sell the fake-out. Anakin had been distraught and then furious when he found out the truth. Obi-Wan had not liked the fact that he had to lie to Anakin but in the end, he had agreed to it, and that was on him. While Anakin had since forgiven Obi-Wan, he knew Anakin hadn't reconciled that with the Council. </p><p class="pref-1">Then, there was the whole debacle with Ahsoka, with her being blamed for the bombing of the Jedi Temple and Anakin being the only one who had believed her plea of innocence. Then, the Jedi had expelled her from the Order, but once she was proven innocent invited back. Her trust in the Jedi had been forever broken and she'd left the order. </p><p class="pref-1">Anakin had seen her for the first time in months only a few days ago, asking for Jedi and Republic assistance in freeing Mandalore from Maul. Obi-Wan and Anakin had been ready to support her until they'd gotten news General Grievous' attack on Coruscant and been called back. Anakin had not wanted to leave Ahoska out on a limb so he had decided to split the 501st and sent half of the battalion with her. </p><p class="pref-1">Now the Chancellor was safe, Dooku was dead, and they were back on Coruscant. Obi-Wan had hoped that being back on Coruscant would help Anakin but it had not if anything, it had made it worse. He could sense Anakin's unease and anxiousness in the Force though he couldn't pin down what it was about.</p><p class="pref-1">He had suspected that something had happened with Padmé, but he had been to visit her and she was happy and well and just as worried about Anakin as he was. Although he had been correct about something happening, it just wasn't what he had expected, she was pregnant. And Obi-Wan was working under the assumption that Padmé was faithful and the baby was Anakin's. </p><p class="pref-2">Despite that surprise, nothing seemed to be wrong, though Obi-Wan was still worried about Anakin. The Council had sent Anakin to spy on the Chancellor for them and Obi-Wan didn't like it all, he knew Anakin didn't either, but the Council was suspicious of the Chancellor and he didn't trust anyone as much as he trusted Anakin. </p><p class="pref-3">On top of that, the Council had decided to send Obi-Wan after General Grievous and not send Anakin with him. Anakin did not like this decision at all and he was not staying quiet about it.</p><p class="pref-4">"You're going to need me on this one, Master," Anakin said as he kept pace with Obi-Wan. </p><p class="pref-5">"Oh, I agree, however it may turn out to be a wild bantha chase," Obi-Wan replied, trying to comfort Anakin. What he wasn't saying was that he was just as an uneasy about being separated as Anakin was. They were a team, they were <em>The Team</em>, Kenobi and Skywalker. He liked knowing Anakin was there to have his back and vice versa, but they would have to manage alone for now.</p><p class="pref-6">"Master, I've disappointed you." Anakin turned to face Obi-Wan. "I haven't been very appreciative of your training. I've been arrogant and I apologise. I've just been so frustrated with the council." He sighed looking way from Obi-Wan. </p><p class="pref-7">Obi-Wan smiled, reaching out to grip Anakin's arms in an affectionate manner. "You are strong and wise Anakin and I am very proud of you."  People always thought because Anakin was brash and impulsive that he was a bit of an idiot too. That was far from the case, Anakin was one of the smartest people he knew. </p><p class="pref-8">Anakin visibly brightened at the words and Obi-Wan's heart grew three sizes. "I have trained you since you were a small boy, I have taught you everything I know and you have become a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be."</p><p class="pref-9">Anakin looked almost sheepish at the praise, smiling but looking down and away from Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan could have told him then, that he loved him. It should have been so easy, all he had to do was say the words.</p><p class="pref-10">Instead, Obi-Wan said, "but be patient, Anakin. It will not be long before the council makes you a Jedi master." </p><p class="pref-11">Anakin smiled up at him then, warm and bright and familiar. Obi-Wan returned the smile and then made his way down the steps. </p><p class="pref-12">"Obi-Wan," Anakin called, Obi-Wan turned back to him. "May the Force be with you." </p><p class="pref-13">"Goodbye, old friend." Obi-Wan smiled. "May the Force be with you." </p><p class="pref-14">Obi-Wan felt as if he should have confessed then too, something was telling him that he should. But Obi-Wan did not. He waved farewell to Anakin and turned, leaving his friend, his brother, his former padawan, and something deep down inside his gut told him that it was the wrong thing to do, that he should stay, or defy the council and bring Anakin with him anyway. He ignored it, as he always did. </p><p class="pref-15">He was always trying to be the perfect Jedi, always trying to follow the code and the will of the Council. And in the many following years, he would regret that deeply. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Only one more chapter to go, major feels incoming.</p><p>Anyway, thank you for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry in advance.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="pref-1">"There is something I must know," Obi-Wan said and made his way down the steps to the security hub. </p><p class="pref-1">"If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find," Yoda warned.</p><p class="pref-1">"I must know the truth, master," he replied and wound the recording back to the previous night. What he saw next was his worst nightmare. Jedi killed left and right, and the one doing the killing - Anakin.</p><p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan's entire world came crashing down around him. Everything he had ever believed in or loved had come crashing to its knees and all by the person whom he loved most in the galaxy.</p><p class="pref-1">The killing had ceased in the recording, and Chancellor- no, Emperor Palpatine entered the scene, Anakin knelt to him and then Palpatine spoke.<em>"You have done well my new apprentice. Now, Lord Vader, go and bring peace to the Empire," </em> he said.</p><p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan shut off the recording. "I can't watch any more," he said, a catch in his throat. </p><p class="pref-1">"Destroy the Sith we must," Yoda staid firmly, tapping his stick against the ground to emphasise his point. </p><p class="pref-1">"Send me to kill the Emperor," Obi-Wan pleaded. "I will not kill Anakin." </p><p class="pref-1">"To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough, you are not."</p><p class="pref-1">"He is like my brother I cannot do it." Obi-Wan was on the verge of tears, he couldn't reconcile the man that he loved with the man in that recording. </p><p class="pref-1">Except, he could, though he'd been ignoring it for months or maybe even years, they all had. Anakin's growing darkness and ease to violence, his frustration with war, his anger and resentment, the war had broken Anakin. On top of that, he'd had a close friendship with the Chancellor for over ten years, it wasn't hard to believe that Palpatine could have been grooming him all the time.  </p><p class="pref-1">"Twisted by the dark side young Skywalker has become," Yoda said, attempting to help the best he could. "The boy you've trained, gone he is, consumed by Darth Vader." </p><p class="pref-1">"But I do not know where the Emperor has sent him. I don't know where to look."</p><p class="pref-1">"Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him you will." With that Yoda was gone, and Obi-Wan knew who he had to talk to - Padmé.</p><p class="pref-1"> </p>
<hr/><p class="pref-1"> </p><p class="pref-1">"When was the last time you saw him?" Obi-Wan asked. </p><p class="pref-1">"Yesterday," Padmé answered, inflectionless, she was obviously very worried about Anakin, but also suspicious of why Obi-Wan was asking about him.</p><p class="pref-1">"Do you know where he is now?"</p><p class="pref-1">"No," she replied, in that same flat inflectionless tone.</p><p class="pref-1">"Padmé, I need your help, he's in grave danger," Obi-Wan pleaded.</p><p class="pref-1">"From the Sith?"</p><p class="pref-1">"From himself." He stepped closer to her and took her hands in his. "Padmé, Anakin had turned to the dark side."</p><p class="pref-1">"You're wrong, how could you even say that." She pulled away from him, taking several steps back.</p><p class="pref-1">"I have seen a security hologram of him killing younglings."</p><p class="pref-1">"Not Anakin, he couldn't." </p><p class="pref-1">"He was deceived by a lie we all were." He explained. "It appears that the Chancellor is behind everything, including the war. Palpatine is the Sith Lord we've been looking for. After the death of Count Dooku, Anakin became his new apprentice."</p><p class="pref-1">"I don't believe you. I can't." Tears were filling her eyes now and Obi-Wan could see she was fighting them back. If she were to cry she would be admitting she believed Obi-Wan.</p><p class="pref-1">"Padmé, I must find him," he pleaded with her again.</p><p class="pref-1">"You're going to kill him aren't you?" Her tone was sharp and accusatory.</p><p class="pref-1">"He had become a very great threat."</p><p class="pref-1">"I can't," she said, her voice breaking. </p><p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan sighed, looking away from Padmé and out the window. The day was bright and did not at all reflect the air of dread he was feeling. </p><p class="pref-1">At last, he looked back at Padmé and decided to address the rancor in the room. "Anakin is the father isn't he?" </p><p class="pref-1">Padmé looked up at Obi-Wan in shock. </p><p class="pref-1">"I'm not blind Padmé, though I have tried to be, for his sake, and for yours. Anakin had loved you since the day you've met, in that horrible junkshop on Tatooine, he's never even tried to hide it. And you, Padmé, with all you skill non the Senate floor cannot hide the way you're face lights up when someone speaks of him or you see him."</p><p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan paused for a moment letting the words settle before continuing. "Though we do not speak of it, we pretend that I don't know and I was happy to because it made him happy, you made him happy. When nothing else truly could."</p><p class="pref-1">Padmé nodded unable to think of words suitable for the situation. </p><p class="pref-1">"I love him too," Obi-Wan said softly. "I've known I loved him since he was knighted, and despite the code, despite my efforts to let it go, I never could." He looked over to Padmé who had tears shining in her eyes. "And I've never told him." </p><p class="pref-1">Obi-Wan looked away from her and they sat in silence and solidarity, the two people whos hearts Anakin had broken. After a few moments before Obi-wan got up to leave. "I'm so sorry," he said softly and left he too her thoughts.</p><p class="pref-1"> </p>
<hr/><p class="pref-3"> </p><p class="pref-3">"It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!" Obi-Wan warned as he watched his old friend carefully. </p><p class="pref-3">"You underestimate my power!" Anakin boasted.</p><p class="pref-5">"Don't try it." Obi-Wan sighed, he did not want to kill Anakin, didn't know if he even could. </p><p class="pref-6">Anakin jumped, using the Force to assist him and attempted to flip up and over Obi-Wan so that he would land behind him. Obi-Wan's blade was fast and precise severing both of Anakin's legs and one of his arms. </p><p class="pref-7">Anakin screamed in pain as he tumbled down the bank, coming to a stop close to the river's edge. Obi-Wan watched him regretfully, despite the pain of Anakin's betrayal fresh, he did not want to see his friend in pain. </p><p class="pref-8">"You were the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan shouted his voice raw with pain and sadness. "It was said that you would destroy the Sith not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!" Obi-Wan took in the pain and rage and fury in his friend's expression, and despite everything, he knew right then that he could not bring himself to kill Anakin. </p><p class="pref-9">Obi-Wan's head fell and he began to make his way up the bank, picking up Anakin fallen lightsaber as he did so. He looked down at his friend as he did so. If he was to have a memory of Anakin it would be of the man that he had been, the good man, the brave man, the man that Obi-Wan loved.</p><p class="pref-10">"I hate you!" Anakin screamed.</p><p class="pref-11">"You were my brother, Anakin." He sighed. "I loved you." Of all the times he had been with Anakin and had had the chance to let Anakin know how loved he was, now was when he had finally said it. When the man Obi-Wan had loved was barely there anymore. </p><p class="pref-12">It was at that moment that some of the lava spurted up from the river onto the bank, catching on what was left of Anakin's leg. Anakin screamed as the fire spread along his body. Catching on his clothes first before searing his flesh.</p><p class="pref-13">Obi-Wan looked away, he couldn't bear to see Anakin in so much pain. He took a few moments and then forced himself to look back at Anakin. Anakin's entire body was on fire, his skin charred and raw and burning. Obi-Wan knew that he should show Anakin mercy and end his suffering there. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. </p><p class="pref-14">Instead, he turned, stepped up the bank, and walked away as the man he had loved deeply, loved more than anything in the galaxy, burned and screamed. Tears fell from his eyes and he let them. He had always been meant for infinite sadness anyway. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope I didn't hurt you all too much.</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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